Grown Ups

 

instagr.am.editing

 I never felt like I looked right or behaved the right way or said the right things. I don't know if I thought of myself as a little girl-more as a little person. I knew I wasn't a boy, but I didn't fit in with the girls out there because i've been spending most of my childhood time with my brother and his friends. GIRLS- they seemed pretty and dainty, not two words i would have used to describe myself. I grew in the suburbs, and I don't think I wore heels or wedges the first thirteen years of my life. I was running around, climbing trees, and beating up boys-bad stuff. That's the reason why people called me sandy (if you know spongebob's friend) because I like to beat or pinch guys-if they mess with me L O L XD . Those were the days long before we were'nt wearing watches. I never knew what time it was and I don't care!

    If I was most afraid of anything, it was other people. I had terrible time of it. I was very awkward. I felt like all the other kids had gotten Cliff Notes on how to act. They knew how to be social and smart, and I didn't get it. I always got it wrong. I needed someone to tell me the rules. How easier my life before if i have a sister but badly i'm the older sister :( I was starved for someone to tell me the rules.

  I knew who was in the popular clique, but I hadn't the vaguest notion how to work my way into it or even if it was something I wanted. I always had the wrong type of style. The bad dream kids all have? It actually happened to me. I went to school with my school uniform and without wearing hijab-that was terrible when you don't know how to wear it but other kids know. A little kid named Fatihah was the one to tell me. Very politely she said, "You might want to wear the tudung/hijab." That was the kind of thing that happened to me-and only to me. It happened when I was in standard 5. Since that day I started to tame with hijab and asked my seniors to wear it to me in school but i still not fully cover my hair till it came my matured time. At least that's how it felt: that I could never get it right.

  I had my first best friend in primary school; her name was Aisyah. We used to sit at the back of our classroom (with the air-conds inside ahhh so cozy hihi) and study together. She was mamak look alike, very, very popular, and so, so smart. This was the time before I knew to be intimidated by girls like this. Later on, I started to make more best friend like Alia Suhana and Syer. They were pretty cool and smart girls-so i have to fight them all to get best position in the class haha. But hey, know what? also I have new best friend in high school. Atiqah Madzilan, Nazurah, Intanloy, Dinie, Nani, Zakwan and Mighaa. Knowing them is the best part in my life because their slumber and fool jokes cheerish me. That they made this whole mish-mash-conglomerate-of-a-life has affected everything I've done since. They made it very clear that there was nothing you couldn't do if you wanted to do it. That was how they lived their life, and that's what I learned from them.

When I was a girl, I just worried so much. Alone. With people. With Family. With friends. There was a lot of worrying. Now i have a great deal of faith in things going the way they are supposed to. It was rough., feel-ing so traumatized all the time. I'd like to reach that little kid I once was, and tell her to take it easy.
        I'd say to her, "You're a good kid. Don't worry so much."

The Day.

The day we met, frozen I held my breath. Right from the start I knew that I'd found a home for 

my heart that beats so fast whenever i see you, and the colors and promises. How can I love when I'm afraid to fall? But all this while i just watching you stand alone? i'm very sorry. When I'm with anybody else it's so hard to be myself. Only you can tell. One step more to get your rhytm my dear. Memorizing you was as easy as knowing all the words to your old favorite song. Fighting with you was like trying to solve a crossword and realizing there's no right answer. Haha just wasting my time fr fighting with you. XD However the Time has brought your heart to me. You need to know that I loved you for every single day. How long can we keep this up? How long til we call this love?

You know what? Everything I need is right here by my side. Don't have to be afraid coz I have loved you for every seconds, minutes, hours or even a days, couple weeks, and many years. Time stands still. Gentle in all he is. I will not let anything take away. The sun is filling up the room and I can hear you dreaming. What's standing in front of me. Please don't stand so close to me. I'm having trouble breathing. I'm afraid of what you'll see right now. But I will make sure to keep my distance from you :) And I keep waiting for you to take me while you keep waiting to save what we have.

Loving you is like trying to change your mind once you're already flying through the free fall. Like the colors in autumn, so bright just before they lose it all. Losing you was blue like I'd never known. Missing you was dark grey all alone. Forgetting you was like trying to know somebody you never met. Moving on from you is impossible when I still see it all in my head burning red.



I'm only up when you're not down. Don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground. It's like no matter what I do. Well you drive me crazy half the time and the other half I'm only trying to let you know that what I feel is true. And I'm only me when I'm with you... 

Charlie.

Charlie? What Charlie? Charlie Chaplin or Charlie and the Chocolate factory? Lol kidding.
Anyway, this Charlie it looks like an ant BUT it is larger than the normal small ant. It is called as Rove Beetle and don't ask me why it is called "Charlie", I've no idea to be honest.



Here we go:

saiz kurang daripada 1 cm panjang. Badan berwarna kuning kemerahan gelap manakala bahagian atas, bawah abdomen dan kepala berwarna gelap. Bahagian tengah abdomen yang berwarna hijau tua mempunyai sepasang sayap keras dikenali sebagai "elitron". Di bawah sayap keras ini terdapat sepasang sayap lutsinar yang dilipat kemas. Selalunya, kumbang ini kelihatan merangkak dengan pantas di kawasan sekeliling dengan menyembunyikan sayapnya dan sekali pandang ia lebih menyerupai semut. Apabila diganggu kumbang ini akan menaikan bahagian abdomen supaya kelihatan seperti kalajengking untuk menakutkan musuh.

It's like this :

Can be found at:

sawah padi, padang sekolah - antara rumput dll. Ia merupakan serangga karnivor dan memakan lain-lain serangga yang lebih kecil. Ia merupakan serangga yang memainkan peranan penting dalam kawalan biology untuk mengawal serangga perosak padi. Semasa hujan lebat atau banjir , kumbang ini akan berhijrah ke kawasan yang lebih kering.

Need to know that :

Cecair hemolimf yang terdapat di dalam badan (kecuali sayap) kumbang ini mengandungi toksin sentuh haiwan yang paling berbisa di dunia. Toksin ini dikenali sebagai 'pederin' (C24 H43 O9 N) dinamakan dalam tahun 1953. Ia mempunyai tahap keracunan 12 kali lebih tinggi daripada venom ular tedung. Kumbang rove yang telah dikeringkan dan disimpan selama 8 tahun masih lagi mempunyai ketoksinannya. Persentuhan dengan kumbang ini semasa bergerak atau tidur, menghancurkannya pada badan atau mengosok dengan jari yang kotor akan menyebabkan konjunktivitis dan penyakit kulit yang teruk yang dikenali sebagai 'dermatitis linearis', 'paederus (kumbang rove/ staphylinidae) dermatitis', 'whiplash dermatitis' dan sebagainya. Pada September 2002, wabak dermatitis linearis yang disebabkan oleh kumbang rove telah menjangkiti beribu-ribu orang penghuni rumah pangsa dan asrama pelajar di Pulau Pinang.

Some friendly advice :

Kumbang ni tertarik kepada cahaya pada waktu malam, tutup atau kurangkan penggunaan lampu dan tutup semua pintu/ tingkap semasa epidemik kumbang tersebut. Gunakan jaringan nyamuk yang halus, semburan aerosol serangga, perangkap berpelekat dan sebagainya. Jangan duduk berhampiran dengan cahaya/ lampu, jangan memukul kumbang yang terdapat pada badan, cuma hembus/ tiup untuk menghindarinya. Jika tersentuh dengan kumbang ini, basuh segera kawasan yang bersentuhan dengan sabun dan air. Sesiapa yang mengalami alahan kulit yang teruk mestilah mendapat rawatan perubatan.

Some pictures of infected peoples :


              




p/s:  aku update menatang ni pun coz my cousin also kne gigit dgn charlie tak guna ni. kalau tk mmg aku pun tk tau pasal menatang ni la. so, beware people ! Get well soon Sherryl :)