Grown Ups

 

instagr.am.editing

 I never felt like I looked right or behaved the right way or said the right things. I don't know if I thought of myself as a little girl-more as a little person. I knew I wasn't a boy, but I didn't fit in with the girls out there because i've been spending most of my childhood time with my brother and his friends. GIRLS- they seemed pretty and dainty, not two words i would have used to describe myself. I grew in the suburbs, and I don't think I wore heels or wedges the first thirteen years of my life. I was running around, climbing trees, and rough jokes with boys. I was kinda tomboy. That's the reason why people called me sandy (if you know spongebob's friend) because I like to hit or pinch guys-if they mess with me L O L XD . Those were the days long before we weren't wearing watches. I never knew what time it was and I don't care!

    If I was most afraid of anything, it was other people. I had terrible time of it. I was very awkward. I felt like all the other kids had gotten Cliff Notes on how to act. They knew how to be social and smart, and I didn't get it. I always got it wrong. I needed someone to tell me the rules. How easier my life before if I have a big sister but too bad, I'm the eldest sister :( I was starved for someone to tell me the rules.

  At school, I knew who was in the popular clique, but I hadn't the vaguest notion how to work my way into it or even if it was something I wanted. I always had the wrong type of style. But that's fine. Somehow, the thing we are worrying happened at school, it happened to me. I went to school in my school uniform without wearing hijab in Primary school. Kinda feeling a bit terrible when I see other kids wearing it but not me. Because I don't know how to wear it. Then, one day, a teacher (ustazah) said to me out of nowhere "You know what, there is this one country which you are considered as a "stupid" girl if you have this hair coloured." I was like????? I never even dye my hair, not even once. It is my natural hair. Also, one friend once told to me, "You need to put on your hijab at this age!" I was 12 at that time. I feel offended being criticize like that. I was still a small girl! I am not ready yet and nobody can judge me. I'm clever girl anyway. Smh, that was the kind of thing that happened to me give huge impact. Faith. Since then, I started to put on hijab (off n on) and asked my seniors to help me to put it on at school. I was still not fully covering my hair yet till I had my first menstruation. In Islam, it is compulsary to cover your hair, but it is not necessary if you haven't reach pubirty yet.

  I had my first best friend in primary school; her name was Aisyah. We used to sit at the back of our classroom (with the air-conds inside ahhh so cozy hihi) and study together. She has mamak look, very, very popular, and so, so smart. This was the time before I knew to be intimidated by girls like this. Later on, I started to make more best friend like Alia Suhana and Syera. They were pretty cool and smart girls-so i have to always study hard to be smart like them haha. But once I went to secondary school, my circle of friends has changed cus we parted to different school. So, I have new best friends in high school. Atiqah Madzilan, Nazurah, Intan, Dinie, Nani, Zakwan and Mighaa. Knowing them is the best part in my life because of their slumberness and fool jokes that cheerish me up. That they made this whole mish-mash-vision-of-a-life has affected everything I've done since. They made it very clear that there was nothing you couldn't do if you wanted to do it. That was how they lived their life, and that's what I learned from them.

When I was a girl, I just worried about so much things. Alone. With people. With Family. With friends. There was a lot of worrying. I want everything to be perfect. Now I have a great deal of faith in things going the way they are supposed to. It was rough, feel-ing so traumatized all the time. I'd like to reach that little kid I once was, and tell her to take it easy.
        I'd say to her, "You're doing well. Don't worry so much."

Charlie.

Charlie? What Charlie? Charlie Chaplin or Charlie and the Chocolate factory? Lol kidding.
Anyway, this Charlie it looks like an ant BUT it is larger than the normal small ant. It is called as Rove Beetle and don't ask me why it is called "Charlie", I've no idea to be honest.



Here we go:

saiz kurang daripada 1 cm panjang. Badan berwarna kuning kemerahan gelap manakala bahagian atas, bawah abdomen dan kepala berwarna gelap. Bahagian tengah abdomen yang berwarna hijau tua mempunyai sepasang sayap keras dikenali sebagai "elitron". Di bawah sayap keras ini terdapat sepasang sayap lutsinar yang dilipat kemas. Selalunya, kumbang ini kelihatan merangkak dengan pantas di kawasan sekeliling dengan menyembunyikan sayapnya dan sekali pandang ia lebih menyerupai semut. Apabila diganggu kumbang ini akan menaikan bahagian abdomen supaya kelihatan seperti kalajengking untuk menakutkan musuh.

It's like this :

Can be found at:

sawah padi, padang sekolah - antara rumput dll. Ia merupakan serangga karnivor dan memakan lain-lain serangga yang lebih kecil. Ia merupakan serangga yang memainkan peranan penting dalam kawalan biology untuk mengawal serangga perosak padi. Semasa hujan lebat atau banjir , kumbang ini akan berhijrah ke kawasan yang lebih kering.

Need to know that :

Cecair hemolimf yang terdapat di dalam badan (kecuali sayap) kumbang ini mengandungi toksin sentuh haiwan yang paling berbisa di dunia. Toksin ini dikenali sebagai 'pederin' (C24 H43 O9 N) dinamakan dalam tahun 1953. Ia mempunyai tahap keracunan 12 kali lebih tinggi daripada venom ular tedung. Kumbang rove yang telah dikeringkan dan disimpan selama 8 tahun masih lagi mempunyai ketoksinannya. Persentuhan dengan kumbang ini semasa bergerak atau tidur, menghancurkannya pada badan atau mengosok dengan jari yang kotor akan menyebabkan konjunktivitis dan penyakit kulit yang teruk yang dikenali sebagai 'dermatitis linearis', 'paederus (kumbang rove/ staphylinidae) dermatitis', 'whiplash dermatitis' dan sebagainya. Pada September 2002, wabak dermatitis linearis yang disebabkan oleh kumbang rove telah menjangkiti beribu-ribu orang penghuni rumah pangsa dan asrama pelajar di Pulau Pinang.

Some friendly advice :

Kumbang ni tertarik kepada cahaya pada waktu malam, tutup atau kurangkan penggunaan lampu dan tutup semua pintu/ tingkap semasa epidemik kumbang tersebut. Gunakan jaringan nyamuk yang halus, semburan aerosol serangga, perangkap berpelekat dan sebagainya. Jangan duduk berhampiran dengan cahaya/ lampu, jangan memukul kumbang yang terdapat pada badan, cuma hembus/ tiup untuk menghindarinya. Jika tersentuh dengan kumbang ini, basuh segera kawasan yang bersentuhan dengan sabun dan air. Sesiapa yang mengalami alahan kulit yang teruk mestilah mendapat rawatan perubatan.

Some additional pictures:


              




p/s:   update post ni pun sebab my cousin kena. Kesian dia. Kalau tak memang tak tahu lah pasal insect ni. hehe beware people ! Get well soon Sherryl :)

The beginning of Ramadhan.

instagr.am editing.

Sometimes we tried so hard to fit in with the community that we've became so scared to advice them if they did something that is wrong in Islam. Afraid of being called pious, or more likely as "bajet alim". But whoever stood up for God's religion, a tremendous reward is waiting for them. Don't be shy to stood up for Islam, for God, after all, it is to Him that we will all be returned to.

I'm no pious, neither a disbeliever. But I'm writing this as a light reminder for those of you who have been far, far astray, deceived by the false lies made by the satans. When you say the kalimah syahadah, أَشْهَدُ أَن لاَ إِلَهَ إِلاَّ الل هُ وَأَشْهَدُ أَنَّ مُحَمَّدًا رَسُولُ اللهِ
You will automatically believe that there is no other gods than God and Muhammad is truly His Messenger. We pronounced this syahadah everyday when we perform our prayers but do we truly mean the syahadah that we've said? Or do we just said it because Islam taught us so?

I'm no pious, neither a disbeliever. But I feel ashamed for I have been delaying my prayers, sometimes didn't perform my puasa wajib, and yet, some people in the other side of the world are praying for all the Muslims to be rewarded with heaven. They seek for forgiveness from God. They cry during their prayers and they always pray for the rest of their brothers and sisters in Islam and we don't pray that for ourselves. How arrogant are we in God's perception?

Ask yourselves, did anyone ask you to pay for the air that you breath in? Did anyone have the power to make a tree grow after they plant it? It is God who gives those pleasures for us, and so many other things that we may not realized. How can we not give thanks to Him? If only our Prophet is still alive, he would be sad knowing that we didn't learn from the past generations who aren't aware of the promises that God has made. He, Muhammad, sure is sad if our actions only lead us to the Fire that we were warned against.

"You who believe, if any of you go back on your faith (taking Jews and Christians as allies), God will soon replace you with people He loves, and who love Him, people who are humble towards the believers, hard on the disbelievers, and who strive in God's way without fearing anyone's approach. Such is God's favour. He grants it to whoever He will. God has endless bounty and knowledge. Your true allies are God, His Messenger, and the believers- those who keep up the prayers, pay the prescribed alms, and bow down to God. Those who turn for protection to God, His Messenger, and the believers are God's party; God's party is sure to triumph." -The Feast (Al-Ma'ida) line 54-57.

p/s:crds to fyzie zissy.