Wednesday, February 01, 2012

hoping and wondering

sometimes i'm wondering to be like someone else that better than me, a popular and chill woman like m-a-r-i-a e-l-e-n-a, crazy and fun teen and being a smart and intelligent girl in my batch. i wish i could get 'em all. but the big problem are, how can i get them ? is it necessary being like someone else ? is popular can make you happy ? or can you be a smart and intelligent girl in your batch ?

well, i think i just can answer the 4rd question. i can be a smart and intelligent if i study hard and always pray to Allah. 'PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT'. people used to that word. i feel like my life is empty. every morning, when i wake up, i get the towel and go to the bathroom. then, i pray and went to school except weekends. i repeat them every day, month and year. it's kindda boring sometimes be a student. got lots of homework to do , study and study and study, staying up late to make a revision , go through the test/exam every 2 month, and the most awkward thing is when teacher ask to write an essay (BM) . i was like , what ? essay ? pardon pls ?! ESSAY ? oh-my-god ! seriously, i hate essay .

i try to be a real muslimah. wearing 'jubah' when go out, wear a long hijab, talking a good things and do what islam ask for . one of my aim for this year is to make a TRANSFORMATION. yes transformation! but i'll make it step by step. i'm sure it is very difficult to make a changes. but i'll try my best to prove that one that i'll make it happen . trust me ! INSHALLAH .

I ALWAYS asking why my friends always leave me ? am i bad ? am i cruel ? am i arrogant ? why ? why ? i still didnt get the answer till today . perhaps, it is because i'm a carriers of a bad luck . that's why people always leave me just like that . I HATE MYSELF . how unlucky i am . better i dont have friends than i have friends . that is the best solution i think. i try to be the best for them . i try to make them happy . i try to make them smile and laugh everyday . but why they still leave me ? plss answer this my dearest friends . :'(

[ i hope that one day i can be the best among the best . ]



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